acceptance and self-awareness
Dear Dyslexics & Parents of Dyslexics,
Many unknowing people associate reading trouble with a lack of intelligence. Critical is to keep the definition in mind: dyslexia is an unexpected difficulty in reading, a disparity between intelligence and reading ability, particularly reading fluency (The Yale Center for Dyslexia & Creativity). Research, as well as the predominance of highly successful dyslexics in virtually every field proves capability and potential are not a dyslexic's problem. Despite this evidence however, the experience of growing up with difficulties in reading can bring about intense shame and insecurity for a young child. It is this assault on self-esteem, not the inherent potential of a young person, that is the threat to a dyslexic child's future. The good news is we can combat this threat through acceptance and self-awareness, understanding, support and, yes, hard work. Today, I would like to focus on acceptance.
Acceptance and self-awareness is a recurrent theme in the lives of thriving dyslexics. The Research Department at the Frostig School in Pasadena "conducted a 20-year longitudinal study on what makes a dyslexic child thrive in adulthood" and accepting their difference was among the top of the list. Acknowledging that your brain's unique function is the reason why certain activities are so hard for you as well as the reason behind many of your gifts is a powerful revelation for a young person grappling with daily roadblocks in school. In the documentary, ReThinking Dyslexia, The Big Picture, Dylan Redford was asked what his advice would be for children with a diagnosis of dyslexia and he said simply, "own it". In my experience with clients and my own children, I couldn't agree more.
Dyslexics are confronted with the challenges of their learning difference every hour of every day so pretending these deficits don't exist only affirms feelings of personal shame and increases anxiety. Naming dyslexia, however, and understanding how it manifests in your life will allow you to compartmentalize your deficits and your strengths. For the most part, we can all deal with imperfection, to have strengths and weaknesses, but to exert constant energy hiding such a large part of who you are is demoralizing. You are likely to feel capable versus defective when you accept that the same alternate brain processes which explain your trouble with rote memory and reading are also the reason you are highly empathic, a gifted artist, builder or problem solver. When your internal dialogue signifies a deeper understanding of the balancing act of your dyslexic brain, you are more than likely to walk away self-esteem intact. The path to self-awareness can help dyslexics embrace differences, cope with deficits and focus on assets.
Respectfully Yours,
Lindsay